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Oliver's Home Birth:
8:46 am. I was getting breakfast ready for my toddler and I when contractions started. They were coming every (5 or 10) minutes and lasting approximately 30 seconds each. My husband had already left for work. It was the only Saturday he was required to work and we had joked before he left that today would probably be "the day". I was 2 days past my due date. 10am. I texted my husband to let him know I had been having contractions for over an hour now. He asked me if I wanted him to head back home from his work (45 minutes away) but I suggested we should wait and I would keep him updated. He reminded me to message our midwife and so I did. I made some labor-aid to keep myself hydrated. Around 11 am I got a phone call from our midwife and she was excited about the news She said she had never had a baby born on her birthday! I didn't even know it was her birthday! She suggested I eat as much as I can as long as I feel like eating and to take a nap when my toddler does. She said she would call me again to see if things were changing and we would go from there. I gave my son a bath and kept drinking labor-aid. 12:25 PM. I felt it would be wise to ask my husband to come home for lunch because I had no idea how fast things would change. Contractions started to be more consistent (around every 5 minutes each and slightly more intense). 1:11pm: My midwife called to see how I was doing. I told her things hadn't changed much and that my husband was on his way home now. She suggested I take a nap if I can and she told me she was going to hang out at the birth house and would check on me in a little while. She wanted to make sure she was in town in case things changed quickly. She also told me that since I had Pitocin with my first birth, I may underestimate how far along I was in labor. My husband got home around 1:45 PM. Toddler and I were in the middle of our lunch. I had a big plate of Thanksgiving leftovers! Hubby helped toddler take a nap while I got some chicken in the crockpot and headed upstairs to take a shower. 3:11 PM. Right after I got out of the shower, My midwife called while I was listening to my Hypnobabies Birthing Day Affirmations. She asked how things were going and I told her that I had just taken a shower and that the contractions were definitely increasing in intensity and lasting between 30-45 seconds. She sounded excited and ready to go She told me she would like to stop by for a visit and maybe check my cervix to see how far along I had progressed if I was ok with that. I hadn't had any cervical checks so far but I agreed that it would be useful to have an idea of how close I was to deliver this baby While toddler was napping, I laid down and tried to sleep without success while listening to my Hypno affirmations. An intense contraction made me get up and use my birthing ball instead. I started taking regular trips to the bathroom. I snacked on sweet potato chips and a honey stick and more labor aid! 4:25 PM. My midwife and one of her assistants got to our place and quietly made it upstairs as toddler was still napping. They found me on the birthing ball, took my vital signs and checked on Oliver's heart rate. We were both doing wonderful. My midwife asked me if I wanted my cervix checked (I hadn't had any checks this pregnancy) and I thought, 'Sure... Let's find out if I am anywhere close to having this baby', so I said yes. I had a contraction in the middle of the cervical check making it very uncomfortable even though my midwife was gentle. We found out I was almost 5 cm dilated, 60% effaced and -1 station. My midwife suggested I continue to drink and eat while I can, and maybe rest a little. She and her assistant would go to grab some dinner and then come back to check on me and I would call her if I needed anything in the meantime. I had been texting my doula to keep her updated on how things were going. She asked me if I wanted her there yet and I wasn't sure what to tell her because I didn't want to call her too soon. I felt like 7 PM was probably a good time to get her here. 5:17 PM. I called my mom to tell her about my midwife's visit and she was surprised that things were moving quickly. She said she was on her way. 5:49 PM. I called my midwife to tell her that I had some bleeding going on and contractions were lasting a minute each and every 5-7 minutes. She said she and her assistant would be on her way. I told her to finish her dinner because I was still doing good. I was changing into more "birth friendly" clothes when my mom arrived and found me half dressed, leaning on the wall mid contraction. She helped me finish getting dressed and then we headed downstairs to make another pitcher of labor-aid. Hubby and toddler got back home from the store followed shortly by my midwife and her assistant. We told Toddler it was our midwife's birthday and he offered to sing "Happy Birthday" to her, which he did in English and Spanish At this point it was probably around 6:30 PM. We all headed upstairs to my room to get my vital signs and baby's heart tones again. We talked about my wishes for this birth while working through contractions, which had become strong enough that they required my full attention. 7 PM. My doula joined the party and we talked some more about what was coming ahead. She showed my husband how to squeeze my hips, which felt heavenly during contractions! My awesome birth team headed downstairs to hang out with my family. I decided I would try to rest and snack a little while I could. My husband helped me use the restroom (again!) and then went downstairs to get toddler's late dinner ready. My mom kept me company and we laid in bed and chatted for a little bit. I had to get up to go to the bathroom, yet again, and the second I stood up, I had a strong contraction followed shortly by another one. I asked my mom to let our midwife know and they all headed back upstairs to check on me. It was probably around 8:30 PM and my midwife asked if I would like to be checked. I declined because I was very uncomfortable at this point. I agreed to try the tub and see if my contractions felt any better. My midwife warned me that they could go either way; slow down or speed up. I had a couple of contractions while I sat on the birth ball waiting for the tub to be filled and my husband held my hands through them. I needed his hands to be high on his chest as I felt the need to pull down on them. I got really frustrated if his hands were low. I got in the tub and it didn't feel right. I felt constrained and sitting was awkward and uncomfortable even though my doula helped me set up towels to make it easier. I had 3 intense contractions probably only a minute apart and I wanted out of the tub because I needed to use the toilet (or so I thought). My doula and my husband helped me out of the tub and sit on the toilet. I started shaking and wasn't sure if it was that I was in transition or the fact that I had just gotten out of a warm tub. I was half in denial haha... Then I turned to my doula and said, "I feel like pushing". My doula relayed my words to my midwife and I could hear everyone hustling in the bedroom asking me if I wanted to have baby in bed or on the floor. I said on the floor and so they hurried and set up everything for a delivery on my bedroom's carpeted floor. I had a couple of contractions on the toilet before being lifted and helped to walk back into my bedroom. They helped me out of the tie dyed dress I was wearing in the tub and into my favorite night shirt. I was offered the birth ball to lean on and I didn't feel comfortable as I felt I needed to pull on something. Some pillows were set up for me to lean on while being on my hands and knees. Suddenly the urge to push was strong and my body started pushing instinctively. My midwife hadn't noticed a head yet so she advised me not too push too early. I said, "I am not pushiiiiing", while pushing haha... But I wasn't doing it on purpose At that point my midwife saw the head and realized it was really my body and "not me" lol. After pushing a few more times with an intact bag of waters, my midwife asked if I would like her to break it since it was right there and it only needed to be pinched or I also had the option of baby being born in the caul. Since I could feel a lot of pressure, I thought it would probably be easier to get rid of it and help my baby join us faster. My midwife easily pinched and broke my bag of waters and then I pushed a few more times on hands and knees. Since not much progress was made, my midwife suggested we changed positions. She asked me if I'd like to try to lie on my side in bed. If there was something I was sure about was that I did not want to be in bed or laying down. In fact, on my last trimester I constantly pictured myself delivering in a squat position, so I told her that I would like to try to squat. As soon as the next contraction was over my midwife, my doula and my husband helped me into a squat. I felt instant relief as well as a new surge of energy! Pushed once, pushed twice and head started to come out (ring of fire!). At that point I remembered to relax and "breathe my baby out" to protect my perineum, so I did. One more involuntary push and body was out (10:37 PM). My midwife scooped him onto my belly and I fell in love with my slippery, warm baby He came out crying, announcing his entrance to the world A few minutes, another push and my placenta was out. We waited for the cord to stop pulsating and then it was clamped. My husband cut the cord. I got in bed and they brought Oliver to me for some skin to skin. He nursed both sides and we snuggled in bed for an hour. My husband got his shirt off for some skin to skin with Oliver and they snuggled for a few minutes before Oliver decided it was time to poop!... Meconium all over daddy! After everyone was clean, my midwife examined, weighed and measured Oliver: 7 lbs 2 oz and 21 inches long (post meconium haha). I dressed Oliver into some newborn jammies and we were left to be We were all on cloud 9! I still can't believe we did it! I did it! I got my healing birth and nobody can take that away! I can always go back to that memory and feel that happiness over and over again. Though I was physically sore (no tearing though, yay!), there was no emotional pain. My home birth healed my heart from the first experience I had with birth. I had been in hell and now I knew heaven So eternally grateful to experience it on Earth Oh, and I don't know if I looked like a goddess (reference to Ina May's quote), but I sure felt like a goddess because I was treated like one by my awesome birth team. Love them forever This is a very encouraging, upbeat, and fun story about a mother and father who had a home birth like experience, in the hospital, with the care of a midwife. She was educated and aware of her options, had a very optimistic mind set, and worked with her baby through labor. Read more here.
Some pregnancies are planned and some come by complete surprise. Like a small seedling sprouting, searching for the sun without the smallest glimmer of awareness from the soil around it. This is how my third son came into existence by chance against the odds and totally in charge. I would later learn that these amazing and frustrating traits would also carry through into his next stage of life as a breathing, creating child. At the time of conception my husband Ben and I were raising ourselves and two small children ages three and a half and one years old. The thought of adding to our family was enough to cause me to inhale into a paper bag with a full blown panic attack.
As the months went on of hugging porcelain and always having a garbage can nearby, the thought of a new baby grew warm in my mind. Thoughts of tender moments nursing and small socks kept me going through those long hard months of the first trimester. As the months changed so did I. I became a new woman who could take any day and make it my own. “Patience is a virtue” my mother always shouted as I blew full force into any given situation and the world, and I would respond in a whisper just loud enough for her to hear “A virtue that I don’t have.” Once you give your life, body, and soul over to motherhood patience is all that can save you from the whirlwind of chaos that is being MOM. Learning this has been my greatest challenge and blessing. Some things come when you plan them and some things come when you don’t, and that was my thinking when I woke up after a much needed nap at 42 1/2 weeks pregnant with my spirit child. I am strong. I am powerful. After two previous homebirths I was following a long line of strong powerful women that date back to the beginning of time. Trusting our bodies to know what to do and become one with a place where life and death meet. I was doing a spiral dance into the heart of creation and at the center was birth. Ben told me he could tell the time had come for our child to be born. I called him that afternoon wanting to check in and I told him I was feeling a little groggy. In true fashion he was home in 10 minutes. He told me that he could hear it in my voice, a mirror of births past, that I was in early labor. The labor of love that you can experience is ever changing and always transforming. Each labor experience is different, each unborn child has a say in the way it all turns out and so do you. The way a mother responds to each surge of her body’s contracting uterus has a direct reflection on the birth of the child. When the water of our child’s old life came forth and soaked me I knew the moment was here when you test your resolve to live. Giving birth is what I imagine a caterpillar must go through inside its cocoon. A complete metamorphism, the closest thing I can compare it to is a self-induced trance where the only battles are the ones in your head. My husband Ben is my midwifes ideal cast of a father to be, her praise still rings in my ears even after all these years. It amazes me that he always remained so calm, a pillar of strength for me to lean on when I needed it. Being who I am I never doubted my body or the fact that everything would turn out ok, but he was on the outside of all that, an observer to my pain and he was still able to be fully present in the moment. After a quick phone call made by him to inform our midwife of our momentum he discovered that our son had turned and was no longer head down, but had decided to present himself to the world bum first. Much of the memories are mine alone; cellular changes in my DNA; unremembered grandmothers chanting in my blood, a divine flow of energy transmuting pain into a birth of my son and myself. I can only really remember a small amount of what others spoke to me during this meditation of consciousness, but this said to me by my midwife will never be forgotten. After she had indeed confirmed Ben examination that our son was breech she came to talk to me. “Sarah your baby is breech”, “Ok,” I said “What does that change?” She whispered back at me with worry in her eyes thinking she was going to scare me “Well instead of dilating to a 10 I need you to dilate to a 12” my response was automatic “I can do that!” I had totally confidence in myself. A lifetime went by, days turned into years as I waited for my body to release its captive, to give life. I was later told only four hours had passed in the mortal world, but I knew the universe had sped up in those moments to help me bring his life to earth. My body waged a battle on itself, bending, spreading, opening like a dew laden flower ready to be picked. My mind was totally dedicated, with one goal, one focus, to open for this child to come through me and be born. I was ready for the shift to the next stage and my body followed in blind faith. I believe once a woman believes in herself a primal echo engulfs her body and provides all the courage needed to fulfill the path that crosses the chasm between life and death. As Sage Jacob came forth into the world at 9 lbs. and 11oz. and 23 inches long a deep stillness came over me. An exhale you feel all the way to the core of your being. He is pure undiluted light. My midwife told me once that there is a unique connection that comes with birthing a breech baby because your hearts are aligned and in sync, and I believe her. I am not saying I love him more or even that we get along better but we have a link, an understanding, a spark that binds us together as spirits. Remembering these next few moments are the hardest. After being handed my new son and snuggling him close, things changed fast. Gone was the peace inlaid state that had filled our bedroom, fear had crept in while I wasn’t looking. The blood of my body was leaving me. A kind of panic I never seen before became apparent on my families faces. I couldn’t understand why my midwife was frantic; I knew in the end all would be fine. I truly felt untouchable. I remember her trying to will my body to comply; offering up prayers to whatever God would listen. My head started to feel heavy and words started to sound like they came through a long pipe before they got to my ears. Finally in desperation my midwife, this woman I loved, just looked at me and told me to make it stop. She all but stomped her foot at me, “Make it stop!” The words 'I can do that', rang out in the front of my mind again and I did. Singing songs I learned at my mother’s side as she attended women gave me focus. I drew upon the endless supply of energy and I sealed my wounds. I bathed in pure love as all my fears and inhibitions were cleansed from my soul. I was alive. I have to start from the beginning: My first daughter, Aubree, was born 4 years ago, after 26 hours of labor in a local hospital, being induced, while witnessing the popular interventions of pitocen, pushing strong contractions and an epidural slowing them down. This labor was very slow, dull and frustrating, and at the time I wasn't aware of my rights, or of all the options I had. Shortly after her being born, I started researching pregnancy and birth, and deciding that my next pregnancy, I would do things very differently.
Spring of 2016, I started out my second pregnancy under the same care of the obstetrics office that I went to with my first. I continued to stay with them for a while, even though I knew very well the plans I had for this pregnancy: an unmedicated, out of hospital birth with a midwife, but was feeling nervous to take the plunge and truly go for it. Half way through I finally transferred care and met with my midwife, Katherine, for the first time, where I immediately felt a connection and bond with this woman. She insured me this will be a powerful, magical experience, despite my huge fear of actually giving birth with zero drugs. In the meantime, when conversation would come up about giving birth, I would confidently say how I am doing this all natural and going to be in the water birthing my baby. Then I would stay up at night panicking, crying, losing sleep, thinking "Can I really do this? Am I truly strong enough? Etc.." This went on for quite sometime, until I came to this point, and knew, that IF I am going to attempt the birth of my dreams, that I NEED to change my thinking, even if I had to "fake it, till I make it" So I built up the courage, and my intuition told me to LET GO of my fear. I took control of my emotions, and turned them into self determination. I knew I had to trust my body, and trust my baby. That we know what to do, along with all women before me, and all the women who will do this after me, I am built for this. My due date was December 4th 2016, and on my 10th day past due, my midwife and I started working on a plan to possibly help my body get me into labor. (I was feeling nervous at this point, because legally the birth house cannot deliver babies after 14 days past their due date, so I would have to transfer care back to the OB office and deliver at the hospital) So on Wednesday Dec 14th, I agreed to do a foley balloon catheter to try and help dilate me (All while Katherine always assured me I DO NOT have to do ANYTHING I don't want to) Luckily, when we went to do it, it was unnecessary because I was already dilated to a 4. I was given the option that if I don't go into labor that night, then the following morning, Thursday Dec 15th my instructions would be: Wake up, eat a decent meal, drink castor oil in a milkshake, have sex, and then immediately go for a brisk 20 min walk. So that's what we did! My fiancé Sean took the morning off to help me with this, and we waited a few hours at home. After a while, I wasn't feeling any different so he left for work. Moving into the afternoon, with no sign of labor, or side effects from castor oil, my daughter and I went to my grandmas house to make Christmas cookies with her and my aunt. After a few house, I started getting cramps- nothing painful, just uncomfortable. I kept saying "I really don't think it's labor related, but just the castor oil doing its job" but I kept track of the cramps just in case. Still, throughout the evening, they never got worse, or painful, or progressive. At around 8 pm, I was taking a warm bath and got a call from Katherine telling me that unfortunately she is getting the flu and in case anything is to happen that her work partner, Carolee, will assist me in my birth. (Although I absolutely LOVE my midwife, any of midwives there are nothing less than amazing) but I told her, no worries, because I am NOT in labor! At 9pm, I got my daughter to bed, laid on the couch with Sean and watched TV for a bit, until we went bed at 10pm. I laid there for a while feeling pretty defeated, and started questioning my body, and if something is wrong with me, as to why I'm not going into labor on my own. I closed my eyes, and as soon as I fell asleep, I was awoke by the most intense pain I have ever felt. This was at exactly 11:15pm. I crawled out of bed and into the bathroom, having one unusually painful contraction, followed immediately by another! By the third contraction, and only a couple minutes later, Sean called the Carolee (the on-call Midwife) where she said "Head on over here!" He (trying not to panic) ran and loaded up our bags, got Aubree out of bed and started the car to warm up. A few minutes later he came back into the bathroom, where I was now lifting myself up on the toilet, yelling "I have to poop!" (I didn't realize yet, that it wasn't poop that I had the urge to push out) and although I had prepared myself quite well to get through contractions- what helped me was counting. I started screaming "1!! 2!!! 3!!!... Because I knew that once I get to 30 seconds, that it would start to go away, and that this won't last forever. Sean was begging me to get up and into the car, and I just felt like their was no way I could get clear to the car outside, and across town, so I repeatedly said "I can't!". At that point, he called Carolee back, and while on speakerphone her exact words were "Sean, you are bigger and stronger than her, get her in the car now" So after hearing that, it brought me back to reality and I thought "Okay, I really need to listen" I raced outside, walking right past my boots (it was snowing out) and hopped into the car. As soon as he started driving, I started bearing down in the front seat, and holding myself while starting to push! I was counting my way through the very intense contractions. We did have brief moment of laughter though, when Sean mentioned how in our birth class, the Educator described this exact kind of labor and how in the movies it always shows the couple rushing and the baby coming out, and how it is NOT like that in real life! But, in our case, it so was! He got us to the birth house, in under 10 minutes, normally it takes 25! Everything was moving so fast, and I barely grasped onto the concept of what was happening. At exactly 12:00am I was met at the door by Carolee and I went into the birthing room and immediately to the toilet! (Again, it felt like the place I needed to be to push) She asked me if I can come lay on the bed, while she runs the bath water for me. So I got up, waddled to the bed and laid on my side. Sean stepped away for a minute to get our daughter settled in the living room area and meet my sister at the door (who was planning on being at the birth, and to help with Aubree) while I get situated in the room. The midwife sat right in front of me, stroking my cheek, giving me words of encouragement, when I hit that infamous transition time of the "I can't" when right after that moment, I said "I'm going to push" and she smiled and said "Great! Whenever your ready!" then told the assistant to have Sean come back in the room. After everything was happening at lightening speed, time slowed way down at that second, where I finally thought to myself "Oh my God, I'm really doing this!! My baby is coming, and I am really here doing this right now!" I was on my side, I lifted my leg up and gave one big push, when they said "there's her head!" And again, 100% in the moment, capturing it, taking it all in, and feeling so empowered and strong, knowing, I am pushing my baby out! I gave another push, and her head was out, pushed again, then her shoulders, as Carolee said "Let's give one more and she's here" and I gave one last push while feeling this huge rush of strength! On December 16th, 2016 at 12:15am our second daughter, Veda, had arrived! After all this time of being terrified of pushing and actually feeling a baby come out without an epidural, it was the BEST part, actually feeling it! I didn't feel an ounce of pain, but just strength and excitement knowing I am doing this! She was placed immediately on my chest, and we all gave a huge sigh of relief, and laughed, thinking that Sean almost had to catch the baby in the car and how we made it just in time! Everything that followed in the next few hours, was all that I had dreamt of. I was laying in a big comfortable bed, with Sean and Aubree laying next to me, and my proud sister capturing photos in all the excitement. I knew I had made to best decision for myself and our baby by transferring to a birth house and having a Midwife, because all my wishes were respected and wasn't told to do a single thing. I pushed when MY body was ready to push, I laid however I wanted to be (although my water birth didn't happen because the bath wasn't filled up in time) and I love knowing I did it all on my own, without any drugs, or interventions. I was filled with joy while I was showed the umbilical cord and how white it was after delaying being clamped, my placenta was being placed in an ice cooler to be taken home by the birth assistant to encapsulate, while all the oxytocin is flooding my body as I'm looking down at my naked baby covered in vernix and latching on to my breast for the first time. From the start of my very first contraction until the moment she arrived, was exactly 1 hour!! One hour in my life where I felt more than I ever have in 28 years! We were sent home a few hours later, where we all laid in our bed at 5am in awe that our little family feels so complete and non-stop talking about what had all just happened. I was never truly 100% confident that I really, deep down was going to rock this dream birth I had in mind, but I did, and have an even more profound love and passion for all things birth. And although certain things didn't go exactly as planned, like my Midwife, Katherine, not being able to attend, I feel even more lucky that I had her for my pregnancy and postpartum, AND another amazing midwife, Carolee, who was able to give me the best while in labor! Double the love! Or not giving birth in the water, or getting one single picture during labor, or having my daughter in the room because how quickly it all went- I respect and honor one of the last true beautiful mysteries we have in this world, childbirth. In the meantime, I am 2 weeks postpartum, and amazed with how quickly my body has recovered, I feel amazing, and my healing time was so much quicker than it was with my first child. I've had two appointments with my Katherine since, and I know after my last postpartum visit, I will walk away with a forever friend (Also, who I gave my daughters middle name after!) who always made me feel supported, loved and nurtured during my sacred rite of passage. I've never felt more of a woman, more of a Goddess, a creator of life, than I have 17 days ago. "This was for my second. Since I wasn't feeling the baby move as much as she was I got checked and decided to be induced. We called at 5am and was told we could come in in an hour. When we got there we got all set up and they started pitocin. After about 2 hours I started having contractions. They were subtle at first so I practiced my breathing and watched New Girl. Another hour went passed and they were getting stronger. I decided to get an epidural. They came in put the epidural and about 45 minutes later I was ready to push. I pushed for 15 minutes and out came Quinn. They laid her on me while they cleaned her off and the doctor delivered the placenta without me knowing because of the pure bliss of my baby laying on me. He started right away sewing me up. I had a 2 tear so not too bad. They took her to get her weight and measurements and put on a diaper. Right after they gave her to my husband to bring to me. She snuggled into me and then started rooting. She latched right away and nursed for a while before we were taken to our room. We spent most of the 24 hour hospital stay skin-to-skin. We felt like we had to get home to our oldest kid so we only stayed 24 hours. 1 week post: Everything went fairly smooth. Baby and I spent most of our days in my room. The first few days I stayed in bed, but I realized quickly getting in and out of bed was not great for my stitches so we brought in the recliner and that helped! I kept up the ice packs on my stitches and was nursing fairly well. I though since I had nursed before it would be the same. It was not! My nipple tore a little so every time she wanted to nurse I cried. I re-read parts of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and switched up some nursing positions and it helped a ton." Photo cred: Cascio Photography On Tuesday the 29th i was 41 weeks pregnant and feeling uncomfortable but surprisingly patient for such an impatient person. I had a late night appointment with my wonderful Midwife, Danielle, that included a prenatal massage and footzoning from her Student Midwife, Mylie. The previous week I had the same massage from her and it was so relaxing I had a few contractions afterwards, so I was feeling hopeful! I was having some troubles from the babys positioning blocking output from my left kidney (hydronephrosis) causing me to not be able to drink very much without my kidney swelling a bit. So I was feeling ready to have her whenever she decided she was ready to join us on the outside. My Midwife normally doesn't perform cervical checks at appointments but I was very curious and asked her to check me. After checking, she happily informed me that I was a 5! Since I had been having prodromal labor all day we both REALLY felt that baby would come that night. I went home to get some sleep for the long night ahead. My drive home from Honeyville was FULL of contractions that started to become uncomfortable. I called my SIL and my dad to warn them that tonight may be the night! As soon as I got home I got ready and went straight to bed before things got too intense. That night I woke up every hour with a good strong contraction but by morning they were still only an hour apart. I told Jeffery that I desperately needed a distraction. I knew I was focusing on my labor progession too much so off to Brigham we went! After playing with Rayden at my parents house in Brigham for a bit Jeffery and I decided to go walk around Walmart (since it was crazy cold) and try to get things moving. By then it was about 11:00 and contractions were about every 20-30 mins. We bought Ray a new bike (bribery to be happy through this crazy day, maybe? Lol) and we went home. 2pm Once we arrived home I figured that I should clean and get dinner in the crockpot. Even though my contractions at that point were averaging 11mins apart (thank you, Fullterm App!) I was in SUCH denial that baby was coming anytime soon. I text my SIL and Midwife to say that they were 11 apart but I was NOT expecting baby anytime soon. My bet was late that night or early the next morning. Contractions were very intense. Rayden and Jeff played outside with his new bike while I prepared a pot roast. Chop a potato, stop, rock and sway my hips through a contraction, repeat. By 4pm I found myself moaning quietly through each contraction and decided it was time for my mom to pick up Rayden. I felt VERY conflicted about her taking him. On one hand I really wanted him gone and settled by the time transition hit but on the other hand I was still in such denial that baby was even coming that night. This would be my first night away from my son. He was super stoked but I was a complete wreck. I bawled (almost hysterically) when my parents took him away. Good thing they took him when they did, though, because as they were heading out the door I was pretty much hanging to my door frame for dear life as I waved goodbye. Then of course I bawled... a lot. Looking back now, I was approaching transition then. I swayed, hummed, leaned on the wall, hung from hubby and just labored. Still in denial that baby was coming soon I text my birth team "contractions are 8 mins apart but please don't rush. I think we still have a long ways to go until baby arrives." Then a follow up text about 15 mins later. "5 minutes apart but still no rush. I don't think it will be soon." Good thing they ignored me and decided to rush because by the time they arrived I was leaning on the wall, swaying my hips, and moaning like an animal lol! Kelsie, my doula and SIL, arrived and I jumped in the tub. She sprayed my belly with water during each contraction and I must say... BETTER than an epidural! Brittany, my birth photographer, arrived second. By this time my contractions were about 2 mins apart and I was approaching transition (however, I was still in denial that I was even in active labor). We went from position to position and NOTHING felt good. I wanted to be in water so badly. In what seemed like minutes I went from laughing with Brittany and Kelsie to hanging onto Jeff shivering (from the rush of adrenaline that transition brings) and heading towards the birth pool. Danielle and her two assistants, Amuri and Mylie, arrived and started rushing to set up and attend to me as I was getting in the pool. Since I had refused to believe that my labor could actually go quickly, we didn't start filling the pool soon enough so the water was barely to the "minimum" line. I shivered from the adrenaline, smelled Essential oils to calm me, and hummed/moaned through each surge. Getting in the pool was nice even though the water was barely high enough to reach my belly. The second I got in I was feeling pressure. The surges were so intense that I was starting to lose focus. I looked to Danielle in desperation and she calmly said "focus on Sawyer. Connect with your girl. You two are a team and need to work together." I reconnected with my baby and all was well again. I felt a connection to my baby that was unlike any other feeling I have ever experienced. I didn't know who was around, what was said, or what was being done. It was just me and her working hard. Next contraction I instinctually exhaled to breathe my baby down. I was pushing! My body knew what to do. Right then my self doubt crept in and I turned to Jeff and said "I can't do this." Then I heard Danielle say "you already are! You are doing this. Every contraction brings you closer to meeting Sawyer." I grabbed Jeffs shoulders and hung on for dear life through every single contraction. Danielle placed a bottle of essential oil below my nose to inhale during surges and it was almost like a sedative! That smell was not only insanely calming but it forced me to breathe deeply. Every time I lost focus Danielle connected me with Sawyer. I responded with her words and focused on her voice. She kept reminding me that my baby was almost here. She told me to reach down and as I did I felt her head! We were a team, Sawyer and I. In that moment I felt connected to her in a way that I can't even describe. This was OUR birth. Something her and I were doing together. We were a team and we were doing this! On the outside I was loud. Moaning like a crazy animal through contractions. Apparently, vocalization is my birth coping mechanism lol! On the inside, however, I remained connected with my little Sawyer. Every time my doubt crept in my Midwife spoke softly and reconnected me with her and I was refocused. I pushed and felt her move down. Sawyers head was born in caul and as her shoulders emerged the bag burst. SO COOL! She was also born with a nuchal hand so Danielle needed to assist a bit. Then, after 6 mins of pushing, Sawyer Ruby Poulsen was born. At 9:11pm weighing 6lbs 8oz and 21 inches long. The bond was insane. I got to experience the "birth high" that everyone talks about and the euphoria lasts weeks. I felt powerful, maternal, and like I could conquer the world. I am a new person after this birth. I feel that god creates each woman with this strength and birth is the passageway to discovering it. I am a much more confident mother and person after this experience. Self confidence has a new meaning to me now. I can't ask any more of my body, it has served me well. I am proud of it and what it is capable of. Each time I get anxious that my pants no longer fit the same or that I have that tired "mom look" all I have to do is think about the fact that my body has grown two beings, birthed them, and fully nourished them as long as they needed. You can see more pictures by viewing my YouTube birth story slideshow at http://youtu.be/HTOp65a5A0M While we were eating dinner on Monday 6pm 8/3 my water broke, small gush and a little pink so I called my midwife to see what I should do. She suggested I come in to make sure it's my water, etc. We got our things ready and my sister in law came to get the boys! At 730pm we arrived at the birthing center, I was 2cm dilated and we confirmed that it was my water that had broken. 9pm contractions picked up and we're 6 min. apart. We watched a funny movie, and hung out, resting when we were able to. At 4am contractions pretty much stopped. 6am 8/4 contractions started again but weren't consistent. Legally there is a 24 hr time frame that the birthing center could keep me under their care after the bag of water is broken, unless I was in active labor by the 24 hr mark. The midwife suggested castor oil to get things going. We went home at 930am, ate a good breakfast at 10am then slept until 12pm when I took the castor oil... yuuuck, and I didn't finish the whole serving. In the meantime, we relaxed and watched another movie. Around 3pm diarrhea and contractions started coming on stronger than I had felt before, but were not consistent! My midwife text me saying that the medical director needed to assess labor and we got there around 730pm - stretched cervix, dilated to 4cm and contracting. Since I was progressing the director okayed me to stay! The contractions were consistent and stronger until I fell asleep at 130am when they STOPPED. By this time I'm feeling discouraged, sad, stressed and missing my babies that I hadn't seen since Monday evening. 4am 8/5 I woke up drank herbs and talked to my midwife, she insured me that everything that was happening is completely normal. This is the first time my body has gone into labor on its own and things take time. With the amount of time my water had been broken, we tried another homeopathic drink to get things going. I wanted to avoid pitocin at all costs! I finished the drink at 7 and the contractions started at 730am. While at the birthing center, being a VBAC mama, they checked the baby's heart rate about ever 30 minutes. On the last check at the center her heart rate dropped to the 80s. I got a vaginal exam - dilated to 4 and baby's head was REALLY low. Mikey and I left for the hospital while the midwife called in to give them a heads up. Arrived at the hospital around 830am. The baby's heart rate was back to normal as soon as they hooked me up! Shortly after the OB came in to discuss our options. The prolonged rupture worried her but my contractions were picking up so she gave me until 10am to see how things were moving. The midwifwe student that had been with us all night stayed and helped talk me through the contractions that were becoming more and more intense. As we were waiting she noticed the positive gbs test and even though I had retested with a negative result she suggested antibiotics. I agreed, 1. My water was broken for over 18hrs 2. I was not sure of the protocol so I'd rather get the antibiotics instead of them giving them to my baby when she was born. I progressed to 6cm by 10 am so the doctor didn't even suggest the pitocin! The contractions were intense, but I continued to breathe in, opening my stomach, and back out relaxing everything and releasing all of my energy out through my uterus. This is what I've been working so hard for. The midwife was amazing and so was Mikey. I switched positions to lean up against the back of the bed and the intensity grew fast with each contraction. When I felt the urge to push and my body forcing me to make the same noise I heard the night before from another laboring mom at the birthing center - I knew it was time. That was 11 am and I was at 10cm! I turned over and with little coaching and my body telling me exactly when to push, I pushed out a perfect baby girl at 11:09 am. She was put directly on my chest and I melted. Literally one of the best feelings in the entire world. The hospital I transferred to was amazing - she stayed on my chest from the time she was born, except to take blood for her 48 hr blood culture (precaution because my water had been broken for over 18 hrs and I had a positive gbs test during my pregnancy), she got her sponge bath at 11pm, and the nurses were amazing! She is a rock star breastfeeder and had the best blood sugar on the floor! Although I was not able to have the birth center birth I imagined, I am so satisfied with how things turned out. Everything happened for a reason and if I had not transferred care to The Birth Haven, I know for a fact my birth would have been a disaster. The hospital has protocol and I would not have been given the time to let my body and baby do exactly what they needed to do! My baby is healthy, I am healthy, and I rocked my natural VBAC!
Side note: This mama decided to switch care providers at 37 weeks pregnant because she felt like her first Obstetrician wasn't willing to compromise with her towards the end. She dealt with the classic "bait & switch", where someone tells you everything you want to hear, then when it comes down to it, they have their own agenda! Follow your intuition mamas! This woman was able to have the birth she wanted because of all of the hard work she put into becoming informed and not being afraid to stand up for what she wanted! While I was pregnant my husband, Judd, had suggested I look into having an un-medicated birth. I was never something I had considered before and wasn't sure how I felt about it but thought "What the heck". I read a few books and thought, if I can do it cool, if not oh well. Four days before my due date I started to get regular contractions. It was a Wednesday and I was supposed to be working. Contractions were far apart and not painful so I decided to go in and get my last day done. I cleaned out my desk and did some busy work to keep my mind occupied.
I went home like regular at 5:00 and was surprised that I had made it through the day. This labor thing was no big deal. HA! We had some soup for dinner and contractions were still coming, closer to 10 minutes apart now. I called the hospital about 9:00 that night and talked to the nurse. She said unless my water broke or my contractions were closer to 5-7 minutes apart I should stay home, rest, and try to relax. I was tired so I went to bed. I woke up about midnight with a really strong contraction. I woke Judd up and we headed to the hospital. It was about a 30-minute drive so I was getting a little anxious. I did NOT want to have a baby in the car. There really was no reason to worry about that but I still did (all moms do if they have to drive to somewhere.. right?) We got checked into the hospital about 2:00 am, they checked and I was dilated to about 4cm. The nurse asked if I wanted an epidural and I told her no. We had planned on a non-medicated birth. She looked at me like "uh-huh, sure lady!" She told me we were free to wander the halls or that I could take a bath if I wanted to. She told me walking around would help keep things moving. We walked around in the halls for an hour or two then I took a nice warm bath. It felt SO nice. At about 7:00 am my doctor was making rounds and came to see me. My water hadn't broken yet so he broke my water. That was probably my biggest regret. My contractions started coming hard and fast. I had a hard time catching my breath. The nurse checked me again about 8:00 and I was dilated to 8cm. Not long after that I felt like I needed to push. My nurse told me to push through a contraction to see how things looked. I went from 8cm-10cm right away. She called the doctor to head in and helped me breath through a couple REALLY strong contractions. I think waiting for the doctor was the hardest part of this labor. I just wanted to let my body do its thing! The doctor came in about 10 minutes later. After only pushing 4 times my sweet little boy was born! 8lb 8oz of perfection. I don't think I had ever been happier in my life. I was so grateful for my husband suggesting an un-medicated birth and I was so grateful for an amazing nurse that helped us through. Without those two I'm not sure we would have succeeded in our birth plan. Right after Lincoln was born I started to hemorrhage. The nurses were bustling around, I got a shot in my leg, and the doctor kept asking for things from the nurses. I started to fade a bit. The doctor got everything taken care of quickly but I sure felt weak. That first day at the hospital was not the greatest. I delivered at 9am but because I had lost so much blood I struggled to get out of bed. I didn't successfully make it out of bed until 9pm that night. The rest of our hospital stay was pretty typical. Lots of checks from the nurses. Snuggling with my sweet new baby. A few visitors. Finally we went home! I had some great friends and family help with meals for the first week and it was so very appreciated. I was on a super duper emotional roller coaster. I cried or laughed a lot those first couple weeks. We had some family come visit a few days after we were home. They asked how I was and I just had a breakdown. They were holding the baby and I just wanted him back. They apologized and I felt silly but I felt like something was just missing when my baby wasn't in my arms. I apologized for having a melt down but they understood. They left us with some dinner and headed home. I started to feel like I had more energy at about two weeks so I thought I'd try going to the grocery store. While I was checking out I realized that I hadn't made the best decision. I was exhausted! I went home and rested another week before I tried to leave the house again. I enjoyed all the love and support I had from friends and family. I was so happy to be a mother! It was a dream come true. |